Root Root Root for the..... Away Team?

I moved away from Boston for a decade, living the dream as many would say in SoCal, living in Sunny San Diego. And my return to Boston... was a valuable lesson. For so many years and so many away games, I missed the Chinese food (for those of you who have ever had SoCal Chinese food - you know what I am talking about - they don't have DUCK SAUCE!), I missed the brisk autumn nights, snow days, lobster tails, and lobsters with claws - not those spiny tail lobsters. I missed proper road rage, the honk of a horn if you didn't GUN IT when the light flipped green. I missed Patriots Day and Hood Milk, an unhealthy admiration for Tom Brady and a profound realization that Ugg boots are for men too! I missed HOME GAMES (safety in numbers)! And trust me, I can tell you what it's like going to a Sox Dodgers game at the Colosseum being a red jersey in a sea of blue. I missed everything and anything Masshole. It was romantic. A Masshole living in SoCal was like taking a semester abroad, living like a foreigner missing the comforts of home. And only to finally make the triumphant return to the motherland. And to get here and remember that you can find almost everyone not far from where they were when you left. And nothing gives you a better feeling than being home, but for me - I've lived a bit of a different life. With the death of my parents when I was in my early 20's, I never had a house to return home to. It was always with friends. And when the familiarities of home become more haunts from your past, the romantic longing to be home fizzles. But enough about that. What sucked to come home to most was [En]Title[d] Town. When I left in 2003 the Sox were cursed, the Pats we NOT yet a Dynasty, and the C's and B's were not contenders again yet.
Thus, in all my years away from Boston, I would root for the away team because I was always in enemy territory. I rooted for "no free tacos" sitting up in the 300s while the Lakers put a whooping on my Celts (way before 2008). I was hung up by a crane dressed like a Revolutionary War Patriot and egged and shot by paintball guns before a Patriots Chargers playoff game. And I represented the Royal Rooters in Anaheim, San Diego, and LA rocking my Sox jersey with Pride. But I never expected to come home and UNDERSTAND why so many people around the country HATE US. And I may become a pariah in my homeland here in Masshole-ia. But damn Boston, you changed. As much as things stay the same, the lovable losers the band of idiots who cowboy'd up, the town who for generation after generation could not seem to reverse the curse, has taken winning a touch overboard. Not Sox fans. The true Sox fans at least. Lets all be honest here, it's Patriots fans. And my grandfather was a season ticket holder so I hold myself to this same standard. It seems like Patriots fans, and the bandwagons are the worst with this, believe that the other team should not bother to show up... when you got Tom Terrific and Bill Belichick at the helm. It's tiring to listen to - so "Hey The Rest of America" I am hearing you. I love Tommy Brady like every other man in New England does. And before I moved back home to Boston, yes I may have thought Tom possible had been bitten by a radio-active football and given special powers which made him invincible. But I believed it with a child-like magic. And since coming home, I think I've met some people who just flat out believe it. Its weird what winning can do to people - especially since the people winning changed had NOTHING to do with the winning. And I am guilty on that count too. I have a jersey in the closet with stains on it still because I thought I had some voodoo power in not washing it. Superstitions are powerful man. I understand. I do. But there are certain things that make a masshole - being loud, being arrogant, and being charming. And when we loose the charming part because we've begun to believe we are the be all end all to sports greatness, we are just assholes. I wouldn't trade all the championships but I just want us to remember the two SB against the Giants. Right, that sentence was humbling. I love Masshole-lia, but I feel like its changed. Or maybe, I've changed. I think that may be it. I spent 10 years in the sunniest place on earth. The answer to every question there was "living the dream", so I think the hippy happiness may have taken the edge off of me. The edge that every masshole has and needs to break the negative windchill that hits us every winter.
And so, its weird for me to start to feel like I don't care if we win or loose. In fact, loosing may humble us a bit, which we may need. A touch of Humility will do you good. It's odd I feel this way... is this what it's like to be an adult? Whatever it is, I can hear my boys faintly in the background calling me a wussy and asking if I think I'm better than them for thinking this. Oh well.

2 Thoughts on today's news...  Lets step into the world of NEW The Royal American Family, The West - Kardashians. *Note - Not that I consider them actual American royalty, I believe they command the same media attention here in America as the TRUE Royals do across the pond.*News that Kanye had to be involuntary hospitalized to have an eval may not be shocking to most. After explicit rants against Beyonce and The Bey Hive,  the Trump Supporting, Show Stopping concert cancelling Kanye may have to take a break from America and Earth for a while. And I support it. I've heard so many people call him crazy and erratic. Which it's not that I completely disagree with everyone. I think, I've found a new appreciation for him.  Aside from his dope beats and occasional verse, I am not the biggest fan of Kanye. Lets just say that I could go to his concert to hear his music but as soon as he began talking in between songs I'd be compelled to leave.  But after the past week, especially his commentary on the future of WORDS. And how he described the morphing of language in the future to be - emojis, sign language, and facial expressions. That to communicate, words will be exstinct (essentially). I realized, that maybe, JUST MAYBE, this is what people living around Leo Da Vinci or other renaissance minds must have felt like.  NOW, before you smack your head and yell at your screen that I am an idiot (which I may be)... Let me just tell you that Da Vinci when inventing the parachute wrote in his notebook that it would allow a man "to throw himself down from any great height without suffering any injury." Now think about that... In the late 1400's - there were NO SKYDIVERS and Extreme Sports were NOT a thing - in fact, I'd think living to 50 was an extreme sport.  And forgive me, all the Die Hard Da Vinci fanatics - I understand he was a genius of a spectacular caliber. And I draw my parallels in pencil to Kanye. But I still draw them. Both artists in their own right, different mediums but artists each none the less.  I've always been fascinated with Leo, if I may call him that.. I imagine his close friends did.. So with all due respect I use that term.  Leo, while living in Venice in the late 15th century also envisioned underwater warfare. Something so unheard of at his time - even though nowadays it may be commonplace. Da Vinci imagined 2 ideas the first using breathing hoses and the second wine bladders for divers to breathe from... Imagine Medieval Italian Frogmen. Brilliant.  Just look into more of Leonardo Da Vinci's creations... curiosity seemed lead his imagination and the result was nothing short of Renaissance Genius.  Now to Kanye. I don't believe that Kanye is or ever will be at Da Vinci Level Genius (yes, in my world there are multiple levels of Genius). But isn't it interesting that while Kanye created the Yeezy sneaker line, Da Vinci created a shoe to walk on water with? I don't think they were as close to as expensive as the Yeezy (another reason I have disdain for Kanye) but I'm starting to hear Kanye from a new angle. *I feel compelled to end my Kanyeezy rant with distancing myself from him, because over the years I think I disagree with more things he's done than found intrigue. Like interrupting T-Swift when she accepted her award or while on Live National TV with Mike Myers spouted out "George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People"... but when I start to distance myself I realize how appreciative of his crazy I am. Think about the conversations he has sparked. All because he lives at the corner of Crazy Artist and Possibly Genius. Speaking of Genius the next thought includes a legend I am thankful to be living in the era of... Dave Chappelle.  Dave will have 3 comedy specials coming to Netflix, this and next year. And if you have not seen Dave's opening monologue from SNL a couple weeks ago, do yourself a favor and watch it. When I was watching it I felt this odd unity. Like the whole world was watching it together and needing to hear his message. I felt that Dave Chappelle's appearance on Saturday Night Live was bigger than all of us. Although his commentary was on one of the most dividing and contested events of the past few years, it riotously funny moments all while heartfelt and genuine. And this is why if I taught high school, I would make his monologue and upcoming shows mandatory homework. It's odd to me that these claiming to be tough guys like Trump and all the others who say we are becoming a nation of p*ssy's - step off of their tough guy platform to tweet and complain about a sketch comedy show being unfair and biased. I would figure the guys who yelled the loudest about being tough and not wanting our country to become a nation of wusses, that those would be the guys last in line to demand an apology when someone jokes. The people I know who have thick skin, don't freak out when a cast of actors pleads with them to remember that they are their constituents. Enough about that... What I wanted to bring to everyone's attention is that we are the generation who will live to tell about this... And by this I mean - Dave Chappelle's return. I'm calling my shot now - He will continue to be Legend. And I believe America needs it. We need to hear what Dave has to say. He shines an honest humorous light into a place we've all filled with fear. And I hope we can take something away from what he says when he holds the mirror up to society. 

YES! It's here! EPISODE 2

This may be my favorite thing yet... love you Josh.

Rock's Ultimate Villain / Prodigal Son

This is rad... I came across this while doing some research for my podcast PRO357. The way Alice Cooper relates the message of being a Christian speaks to me. And yes it's odd the next post is my web series Lets Make Josh Uncomfortable. It's just the juxtaposition of my life. So before you yell HYPOCRITE, just know the web series is in all fun to make people laugh. If it wasn't, I wouldn't do it. Boom Wait till this upcoming episode of the web series.. I know we top it. Its brilliantly hi-larious! Will be out in a couple days.

Lets Make Josh Uncomfortable!

Dreamin'

So last night they returned... the dreaded premonition dreams... these from time to time come to me and tell me things. It's weird and I dont know how much of it is going to become reality and how much is strictly suppressed consciousness. Either way, I told both people what happened in my dreams and what would happen. Now, time will tell. Its weird though. If you have these you know what I am talking about... And I wake from them and go in and out of them. It's bizarre.

Trippy.  

How to become a solid candidate...

Josh and Rob’s five point system to become a good Presidential Candidate…

Point Numero Uno…. You’re always better off in America if you’re wealthy, (Josh disagrees with this next statement but Rob finds it to be sound) just look at Ben Stiller – Obviously his parents were comedic skilled actors and we all know talent skips a generation but with enough money Along Came Polly. So be extremely wealthy.. Like if Bill Gates had a drug problem and had sex with a Billion dollars then sold that money baby for more money… that’s the kind of money you need to have to run for president.

Point B… Run your mouth. Obviously we’ve learned a lot from Trump. That is, America is not filled with a bunch of sheeple who are willing to be lead and coerced by simplistic idealistic non-points and friendly all satisfying agendas. AKA Have your own ideas. Now this may be polarizing when you first say something that doesn’t make everyone everywhere happy. But it will also probably be this thing called – Honest. Honesty - is an endangered species in Modern America.

Middle Point - Dress exactly the same as every other candidate has ever dressed. America may be ready for some honest truth, but not a mess. Keep it clean and tidy. If you look like a hobo, America will treat you like one. And you will probably get a nickel thrown at you. Hashtag Nixon.

The fourth chapter – Be related to other Presidents. It worked for Bush, its working for Clinton, it worked for the Roosevelts. And the Adams. And Almost the Kennedys. So point proven.

The final Point – Learn how to talk with your thumb. But not all of the thumb, just the tip. Words are just that –words.. But hand gestures can end and begin wars.  Let your hand gestures do the talking, not your words. Aggressive hand gesturing is a proven technique by all leaders and especially the ones who don’t know what they are talking about. So remember kids use your hands to say what you mean.