Josh and Rob’s five point system to become a good
Presidential Candidate…
Point Numero Uno…. You’re always better off in America if
you’re wealthy, (Josh disagrees with this next statement but Rob finds it to be
sound) just look at Ben Stiller – Obviously his parents were comedic skilled
actors and we all know talent skips a generation but with enough money Along Came
Polly. So be extremely wealthy.. Like if Bill Gates had a drug problem and had
sex with a Billion dollars then sold that money baby for more money… that’s the
kind of money you need to have to run for president.
Point B… Run your mouth. Obviously we’ve learned a lot from
Trump. That is, America is not filled with a bunch of sheeple who are willing
to be lead and coerced by simplistic idealistic non-points and friendly all
satisfying agendas. AKA Have your own ideas. Now this may be polarizing when
you first say something that doesn’t make everyone everywhere happy. But it
will also probably be this thing called – Honest. Honesty - is an endangered species
in Modern America.
Middle Point - Dress exactly the same as every other
candidate has ever dressed. America may be ready for some honest truth, but not
a mess. Keep it clean and tidy. If you look like a hobo, America will treat you
like one. And you will probably get a nickel thrown at you. Hashtag Nixon.
The fourth chapter – Be related to other Presidents. It
worked for Bush, its working for Clinton, it worked for the Roosevelts. And the
Adams. And Almost the Kennedys. So point proven.
The final Point – Learn how to talk with your thumb. But
not all of the thumb, just the tip. Words are just that –words.. But hand
gestures can end and begin wars. Let
your hand gestures do the talking, not your words. Aggressive hand gesturing is
a proven technique by all leaders and especially the ones who don’t know what
they are talking about. So remember kids use your hands to say what you mean.
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